Obama-rama

This past Saturday I volunteered to makes phone calls on behalf of Barack Obama.  You know, the black, inexperienced, terrorist-associating, smear-mongering, liberal Democrat.  I like him because he has a good fade-away jump-shot.

Anyway, although this photo makes me look a bit hippy, I had a fun time.  My old friend Steve Tao runs the phone bank with an iron handset, but I think I got into the groove pretty quickly.

Basically, we were calling people in Nevada, a "tossup" state.  It's only a few electoral votes, but of course every electoral vote counts.  If it was up to me, I would junk the electoral college and go with direct voting for president.  Why can't we make that happen?

I was given a sheet of phone numbers, detailing the name, age and party affiliation of likely or possible Democratic voters.  I picked up the phone and started dialing.  Of course, it being Saturday afternoon, no one was home.  Someone answered maybe 15% of the time.  And at least half of those, the person I asked for wasn't home, which has to count as a "not home."

But if, on the off chance I got the person listed, I was supposed to go by my script.  First, to ask if they were going to vote for Obama.  Most just said "yes," although one lady sharply pointed out to me, "it's a secret ballot, you know."  I replied, "Well Senator Obama wants you to know you can shove your secret ballot up your ass."  No, I didn't.  If they told me they were going to give their vote to Obama, I had a box to check off on my sheet.

Next, we were supposed to encourage them to vote early, an easy option in Nevada.   (I was instructed that it's "Ne-va-da" with the middle "a" rhyming with "bat," not "Ne-vah-da.")  A few people told me they were going to vote early, but one chatty middle-aged lady told me she liked the rush of people at the polls.  I agree, although maybe for different reasons.  I like the ritual of voting at my local fire station.

My favorite call of the day was to a man of 91.  An old lady -- his wife? -- answered, and slowly told me to hold on.  Then, I swear to God, literally 2 full minutes went by.  I chatted with the phone banker next to me while I waited.  Finally a very old-sounding man picked up an extension and said hello.  I introduced myself and asked if he was going to vote for Obama.  Oh yes, he answered.  But then as I asked him the subsequent questions I was supposed to, I got the distinct impression he did not know who I was or why I was calling.  I can't remember what gave me that impression, except how he signed off, after I told him goodbye.  He said, "thank you dear" and hung up.

Still, he responded yes, so I checked the "yes" box.  I hope he makes it to the polls and punches the right box.