Washington D.C. -- GOP leader John Boehner today demanded an apology from Sir Paul McCartney, in the wake of the former Beatle's performance at the White House where he received the Gershwin award for songwriting.
"I think all of America deserves an apology for that ridiculous punchbowl turd 'Ebony and Ivory' that he did with Stevie Wonder," commented the visibly angry House Minority Leader. "I mean, is that song supposed to sit in his body of work along with 'Let It Be,' 'Blackbird,' and 'Hey Jude.' Those are classics! But 'Ebony and Ivory' -- I could shit a better song than that! Not only are the words simplistic and the tune boring and derivative -- the metaphor on which the whole thing is based is dumb and obvious." Boehner then called for an immediate emergency session of Congress to make performing the song punishable with a fine and, if judged constitutional by the Roberts Supreme Court, caning.
When subsequently asked about McCartney's comments in which he implied former President Bush didn't know what a library was, Boehner smiled. "He's right on that front. That guy was a gigantic dumbass."
